I do still feel guilty. And incredibly angry, just at the world I do think. I'm still dreaming about crashing my car, though I've replaced the random tree I was just excited about last night with major landmarks. I don't need to hurt anyone, or perhaps even myself, go on and make a statement about how precisely precisely f'd our world is. Anyway, I will not do this, and gave my car keys to James a few minutes ago and i am not going PTSD to drive until I'm out of crisis.